Slay Ride

Just hear those spent shells jingling,
Ring ting tingling too
It’s time to wonder whether
We should slay an Iraqi or two.
Outside the bombs are falling
And children are bawling, "Boo hoo."
It’s time to wonder whether
We should slay an Iraqi or two.

Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap, let's go
And look at the show.
We're riding in a burning taxi’s glow
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap, it's grand,
Obeying commands,
We'll rumble along righting wrongs
In an alien desert land!

The flames are red and rosy.
Uncomfortably cozy are we;
We hope we’re safe from harm
In our partially armored Humvee,
And in the mosque before us
We’ve got insurgents in view,
It’s time to find out whether
We can slay an Iraqi or two.

We could grab a batch of Sunnis and a ran(crack!)dom kid,
And then stack ‘em in a naked human pyr(crack!)amid
They'll be singing the songs we make them sing
Without a single stop,
While outside we can hear militia rifles pop,
Pop! Pop! Pop!

There's a satisfaction nothing in the world can buy
When we order air support and watch the bodies fly,
But the truck ahead hit an IED, and one of them survived.
These wonderful things are the things
we’ll remember for our whole lives!

It’s true we have to dodge
An occasional RPG,
But we’ll obey our orders
To impose a democracy,
We hope that you don’t mind
If you find we’re occasionally blue,
While we’re discovering whether
We can slay an Iraqi or two.